Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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