How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
