it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
