Say something about gay babies.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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