Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i think i just lost a toe
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
