So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
