That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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