Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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