3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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