omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
