yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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