so let's talk penis.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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