no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
