Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
