i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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