I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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