people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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