I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
