We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
