Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
