I'm eating all of the evidence.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
