Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I checked into jail on foursquare
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
