Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
