I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
