i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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