it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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