I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
