Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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