Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
