Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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