fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
