He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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