I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
