How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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