Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
