Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
