guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you win again, gameday.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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