Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
