Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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