Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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