I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
