Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
