He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
