I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
