you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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