The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
