Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
