guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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