Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
