I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We left an ass print on the piano.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
