Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
