im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
